Leaving....why it's always hard to say goodbye

Some people mistakenly think I don't cry much. I may not be the most fuzzy person, I am not a hugger in general, I hate sappy movies, but I feel deeply. I also have a strange attachment to objects- but not all objects. When I moved here from Florida I through out my wedding dress. Why would I keep it? It takes up a lot of space and I have two boys. Out it went without a tear shed. The old beat-up gas-guzzler that my husband finally got rid of? When it was being towed away I cried like a baby. I thought the car would be sad that we didn't want it anymore. See? Only some things make me cry and it comes down to two objects- houses and cars. Other things can make me nostalgic of course, a baby onesie, an old picture, but houses and cars have feelings darn it! Don't they?

So here we are, getting ready to move. I am puddled on the floor, caressing the door jambs, looking at where my child once toddled and is now a bright and happy four year old. It is hard for me to say goodbye and leave those memories behind. I know intellectually that all of those memories can't be recreated by brick and mortar, that they live forever in my mind better than any picture can capture. I can still smell the crisp leaves of autumn when we trick or treated down the street here in Knights Landing. I will always know the scent of the river where we spent summer's swimming and fishing and meeting friends. In some ways, as time passes the memories lose some harshness, a rosy tint takes it's place, and there is a fondness that grows that may have little or no basis in reality.

I had never really lived in a small town before moving here to be close to my mother in law and father in law. I didn't conceive how a town so tiny could survive and "be" something. Like an organism, it lives. More so than any suburban development with fake saccharin waves, more so than any anonymous big city where you could, theoretically, give everyone the finger and nobody is the wiser. You don't exist except to who you let into your life. In a small town you exist to everyone.

There are good sides to this, and of course some famous bad sides. I think the, hmmm, should I go here? Yes, I will. I think the liberal elite who drink overpriced coffee and bemoan capitalist pigs and seem to want to fight for the underdog (as long as that person doesn't live in the United States that is) doesn't get small town America. They live in a cocoon and eat pho but bemoan country music. The peasants of other countries are much more romantic. But there is a romanticism in small town America. There is a culture that is unique, lively and lovely all at the same time. You just have to slow down and recognize it.

Never before have I actually seen, with my own eyes, pure community. When one is sick, they are taken to the doctor by someone. Not family, perhaps not friends, but if you are in trouble here in small town, USA, you will  be taken care of. You will be fed, you will be clothed, and you will have somewhere to turn. It is a given. I am not against the idea of communism, just the force of it. As we alienate a culture that is still surviving in little hamlets across the country, we miss an opportunity to see humanity in its best form. Spaghetti dinners and country music aside, watch and see the true sense of love and community that exists and that as a city or suburb dweller, you haven't ever seen before.

That is the good side and with that comes a bad side that is equal to the good. There is boredom and gossip, mostly unfounded but it's much more fun that way. If someone isn't talking about someone, it is akin to the cable being out. It is a shock to people who didn't grow up this way and respected privacy above all else. It feels like peeping in their windows and it comes naturally to some. Life as a gossip isn't as much fun if you speculate or give the benefit of the doubt. There is good said about people of course, but again, good information isn't much fun, sort of like if the Real Housewives of New York got along. Boring! It's a side effect of being close, to know everyone, to have something to chat over instead of the morning newspaper. Since everyone is talked about equally, there is some solace to be found that while they gossip, they love you still.

The little town I am leaving has been good to me. It has brought me closer to what is important in this world and showed me things about what it means to love your neighbor, to be real, to stop hiding behind pretense, that a smile is worth more than gold. I was once something, I am now something else and through my experience, I feel I am no doubt a better person. My kids are too. They began loving and forming friendships with people of all races, ages and class. I hope their openness stays with them always. To them, we certainly live in Mr.Rogers neighborhood. We walk to the post office, to school, to the library, to the store, to the river and doggone it, we know everyone with a smile and a wave.

So here I am, with a heavy heart saying goodbye to a fascinating, difficult, lovely, chapter of my life. We are moving south, close to my husbands work. I chose another small town. You will probably never see me in a large city, a medium city, or even a large town. I like this life, and I found what makes me thrive. I did, however, choose a town with three restaurants and a grocery store.

To all of my friends and neighbors, it is never goodbye but a see you later. I will miss you, you will stay in my heart always, and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

County Road 102

As you have noticed, most likely with frustration, the road is being repaved and painted. CalTrans is working hard to complete the project with quality and timeliness. If you notice areas that are in need of help please contact CalTrans or speak with a workman who can direct you to the supervisor.

More importantly, I want to make sure that everyone is aware of the speed limit is through town. The speed limit is a firm 25 miles per hour. Please make sure that you follow this limit as this is a residential neighborhood with children and dogs and we have already had one child hit this year.

Please follow the law at crosswalks. When someone is waiting at a crosswalk, they have the right of way. Meaning- you need to stop and let them cross. As school is fast approaching it's new year, more and more children will be waiting and relying on your safety and allowing them to cross safely.

I will mention a time when a driver almost ran over an entire family by swerving around a car that was following the law and stopping at the crosswalk. Tragedy was barely avoided. If you are in a hurry, please understand that Knights Landing is a small town and any time you might save in your commute will only register in mere seconds off of your commute but could result in a ticket, a horrific injury and the almighty guilt that would come from hurting someone. Nothing is worth 2 seconds of time.

Hopefully the road work will be completed soon and we won't have to expect any further delays and thank you for staying safe!

River Float at Sting Rayz Marina

This Saturday, July 23rd will be the second annual Sting Rayz River Float. We are meeting at the marina and will caravan to second beach. You should bring an inflatable raft, sunscreen, life jackets and snacks and water to stay hydrated. It is a trip that takes about 4 hours meandering down the Sacramento River with several stops at private beaches where impromptu games of football and Frisbee break out.

Come join us this weekend and check out the second newsletter at hot spots around town and pick up a copy!

Haunting of Snowball Mansion

This weekend I had the pleasure of meeting a couple at an open house who wondered if the home we were in was haunted or not. Since the house I held open was from the late 1800's the question was a good one and an intriguing one.

They weren't the only people to ask actually, and another woman told a story about her sister's late 1800's home being quite haunted. ((shivers)). I am pretty glad that the open house was successful and there were no eerie screams or bizarre occurrences. I may not be a believer in the supernatural but I think that is simply because I haven't experienced it.

I did have to talk about the Snowball Mansion to them because word is that it is most definitely haunted. Also, it is on the market. So is the Snowball Mansion haunted and what is with the name? If you aren't from here, let me explain. From the beginning actually.....

More than 4 billion years ago the earth was nothing like it is today. In fact, the atmosphere contained little if any oxygen. Wait, I went too far back. Let's keep it in the 1800's. Specifically, 1853 and a man named John Wells Snowball, Englishman and successful gold miner. He moved to Knights Landing in 1853 and established the first store which was pretty bright because he became quite wealthy and was the Judge in these parts.

They say he held court under the sycamore tree still on the property and was most likely a wise and gentle judge. Or a mean and unfair one. No word on that, because he's not the ghost so is not the main character. His wife is the ghost and you have to imagine that she thought she hit pay dirt marrying such a successful and most likely intelligent fellow. A fairytale story with Mr.Snowball plunking down huge money to hire Seth Babson, the same architect that designed well-known Crocker Museum in Sacramento, to build a mansion for his young bride Lucy.

Lucy and John Snowball were the proud parents of a new baby when tragedy struck. It is said that the baby died in the night and Lucy never recovered. When she passed away her ghost is said to have lingered on in the three story mansion. Some have said that her ghost wanders the halls towards the nursery and windows will rattle. Some say that if you mention the Snowballs in the rooms that a cool chill will take over you.

I'm not sure if any of this is true. But, I will say that when I first moved here I went to the cemetery here in town as anyone should. There are pioneer graves and many are wonderfully preserved. Older cemeteries will hit you with the fact that life was a whole lot more difficult and dangerous back then. Before penicillin and c-sections, before life jackets and blood transfusions, people died young and that includes many, many babies. As a mother it hurt to see the graves of young children and babies but before I ever knew about the Snowball Mansion or even the name Snowball, I was struck at the grave site by an overwhelming sadness that the Snowball's experienced when I saw that little grave. I remembered the name and I remembered being so sad for that mother. Maybe the ghost is lingering out here in Knights Landing with a hurt that time cannot heal.

Nobody knows, obviously, but what we do know is that the property has been beautifully restored and is back on the market waiting for new owners to find out for themselves if there is a ghost in the house or not.

Update!

As you all know by following the news in The Daily Democrat and The Sacramento Bee, we have saved the Knights Landing Children's Center.

Yes, the WJUSD and KLCC are working together to keep the fantastic program alive and well in Knights Landing. Fantastic news all around and thank you to everyone for your support!

We are a great community with strong ties to what is right and acceptable for every person who calls this area home and I am proud of everyone who lent support with a special shout out to School Board Member Angel Barajas and the Community Methodist Church for going above and beyond for us. Thank you.

Deeply, deeply- thank you.

In the Media

News 10 Sacramento came out to interview us today. Coverage will be at 6pm so make sure to watch!

We are hoping more coverage on this issue will at the least bring answers. I will keep everyone updated as more media occurs. In the meantime, urge everyone to attend the community meeting this Wednesday at 6pm.

School Board Meeting June 23rd

Four parents came to the school board meeting last night on June 23rd. We came emotionally charged as a bureaucracy was taking steps to ruin what is near and dear to so many. We had to fight to find the words to express our feelings without too much emotion and we spoke from our hearts. Our first parent to speak focused on the quality program we had based in Knights Landing; the questions of why the district is taking something so precious away from us as a community with no regards to the parents. He gave a general overview of the program and it was a moving and touching speech. It was a hard speech for me to follow afterwards. I could not have been more eloquent than he.

I spoke next, and I spoke mostly about the legalities of their decision to have us vacate without even a thirty day notice and possible estoppel by silence, putting us at a disadvantage by withholding information to our detriment. We have to believe that they knew their plan well in advance of June 20th. By keeping silent we lost time to find a new location and obtain licenses. I also directed them to their own budget agenda that night that called for no increase of expenditures as of this date. I tried to explain that hiring two unionized teachers in place of two salaried teachers with no benefits was not budget tightening. That starting up a program from scratch was an expensive undertaking and while they will move into our old room, they will have to purchase all of the supplies. I do not understand their reasoning logically, and we hope to hear the reasons soon.

Lastly, a parent spoke with passion about how we will keep the belly of child who is hungry full, will WJUSD do that? That we will clothe a child who is cold, will WJUSD do that? That we will provide gas money to a parent in need, will WJUSD do that? She asked if any of the members had been to Knights Landing, not simply passed through. Have they come to see our program? Have they gotten the chance to see what a success it is with their own eyes? I am not doing her speech justice, but it hit home and almost brought us to tears. You can't compete with what we have here, you can't come close.

Let me be clear that we heard that this decision to take over and turn KLCC into a state pre-school only was not made through the board. The faces of the board members showed shock and disappointment. I can only use conjecture to what they were thinking when we spoke. We don't know, but I do believe that there is support out there. I urge you to contact the members of the board to have them put this issue on the agenda and to figure out who made this decision and why. We need answers.